So. It is 2 am and I have just decided that I will start writing a blog. I have always wanted to write a blog but never really had the energy to start one. I guess 2012 has made me do things that I thought I would have never been able to do. I left a good job at a very large oil company to try my hand at my own business within the financial services industry. I also started video logging on YouTube as well for the last year of my twenties.
Does doing a v-log and a blog seem redundant to you? I feel very awkward when I am in front of my webcam and my iPhone talking to maybe the ten to fifty viewers I have on my YouTube Channel. I think I will keep this as a separate output for all of the crazy things that go on inside my head.
I spent this Friday at home sulking and cleaning. Played one too many games of League of Legends and ate enough hot salami to make people with gout cringe. The weekend is here and I can't even seem to rejoice. I was usually the first one to get people excited for the weekend now I feel like I am the party-pooper that wants to stay home.
I want to do many things. I want to own my own restaurant, run a dog breeding business that breeds that ultimate super dog and do something that will make an impact in this world. I have searched high and low for the answer. I still can't seem to settle on what I want to do.
I pick up my guitar and strum the same four chords that have made people Millionaires. I stare out my half underground apartment suite on to the busy road across from one of Calgary's oldest Malls. And I sing and sing and sometimes for hours on end until my voice is raw. Every time I see a passer by I feel like I am performing to them . Singing to the world.
Do I feel as if my music has fallen on def ears? Not really. Then again; if a singer sings and plays his guitar in his apartment and there is no one there to hear it does that singer exist?
The life of an artist. Can I really call myself an artist? I have performed in front of hundreds maybe even thousands of people now collectively. The largest crowed that I have performed in front of was probably around 200 people. I write music and sing. I put my emotions that I can't talk about into the songs I write. Can that really be considered Art? Is there a difference between a musician and an artist? So many questions so late at night.
I still don't know if I want to go to bed or turn on the TV and vegetate for a while. I want to keep writing. This is the most I have ever put down into a blog. I think I like doing this. Placing some of the more odd thoughts I have into words feels just a little more natural. I hope whom ever comes across this blog will take what I write about with a grain of salt. Till my next post.